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Colleges Should Not Pay Their Football Players Any Money. But…

August 29, 2014 / Anthony F.

PJ-BP722_SP_MAN_G_20130805172607 No accredited school or university should pay any additional amount of money to any football player in a college uniform. Period. Continue reading

College football players have decided to create unions (LINK) in order to get more money for themselves on top of a fully paid college scholarship, free housing, food, books and all of the other intangible superlatives that come with being a football player. They are claiming they are employees of the school and they should be compensated as such. Well, guess what? You don’t have to play. If you don’t want to be a student-athlete, then don’t. There. It’s that simple. You’re not being forced to play college football. It’s a privilege, not a right. Colleges should not pay one additional dime to the players. Next thing you know high schools are paying their high school players money, because guess what…. high school football also brings in revenue for schools.

No one player is bigger than the school or the University’s tradition. You’re going to be gone in a few years regardless of what happens and someone else will step right in and take your place. Once in a while a player will come along and give a University a boost nationally like an RG III for Baylor or Johnny Manziel with Texas A&M, but for the most part and actually more so with the big time conference schools, AJ McCarrons do kind of grow on trees.

Now on the flip side of this, I fully support the Ed O’Bannon lawsuit (LINK) stating in a nutshell that college players should make money off of their own likeness because that’s basically business 101. Also, if Johnny Booster wants to buy a 19 year old freshman a nice dinner for him and his friends, they should be able to. You want to be an idiot and swap your Big Ten Championship rings in exchange for a tattoo (LINK), go ahead! Albeit that is insanely dumb to do, but at the same time, who cares and who does this hurt? As long as the school itself is not paying anything to the players outside of their scholarship money and stipend, then by all means!

This would also ensure a more capitalistic approach to the situation. If colleges start paying college players, then what happens when “guy that has never seen the field” is making as much as the star quarterback? It’s basically like an intern getting paid the same as a VP. So, how’s that going to play out? If you leave the “payment” to the “outside” and let all of that shady stuff be legal, then the bigger players will definitely end up with the bigger paydays via the boosters.

It’s very easy (washing hands now).

Post By:

Anthony – Follow him on Twitter

anthony@smellthegrindstone.com

Anthony Fanelli is an actor, writer, producer and comedian whose credits include NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS), How Superman Defeated the KKK (Discovery), My Haunted House (A&E), Black Water Vampire (feature film), Kidney & Apple (feature film), Spare Change (feature film), Day of the Mummu (feature film), Little Knockers (funny or die exclusive), The Next Steps (funny or die), United Airlines, Chase Bank, Philips Norelco, Huffington Post/AOL, among much more. He has written and/or starred in over 150 live comedy shows (one-man shows, news parodies, improv, sketch). For more information, please visit his links: Professional Site, Funny or Die Page, IMDB, YouTube.

An Open Letter to Johnny Manziel

May 16, 2014 / Anthony F.

Dear Johnny,

First off, huge fan. Seriously I mean that (There’s THIS & THIS). Secondly, I know I speak for the majority of not only the residents of Cleveland, Ohio, but all of their fans worldwide (yes, worldwide) when I say welcome to Cleveland, Ohio! We’re damn happy to have you. This isn’t a letter addressing something outlandish like you’re going to be the savior of Cleveland or anything like that. I’ve just got some things I’ve been meaning to say to you… Continue reading

You had one hell of a career at Texas A&M and at Kerrville High School prior to that. In the past year or so you have morphed into America’s most talked about and analyzed sports figure; and all of this was before you were old enough to legally drink a beer. Your stats speak for themselves. If people weren’t convinced that “Johnny comes to play all day e’rryday” then they just need to re-watch the 2013 Chik-fil-a Bowl game vs. Duke where you single-handedly dug your team back from a 38-17 halftime hole to take the game 52-48 (highlights). I’m not trying to butter you up here Johnny; I mean all you have to do is walk in public and with the hordes of fans that approach, I’m sure your head becomes that of DK mode in Bond 64, but like I said I’m a fan.

While at Texas A&M, you did something that is very rare in the college. You, Johnny Manziel, became bigger than the program and bigger than the school. You were the program and it would be impossible to mathematically calculate how much money you actually brought into that school. The lobbying that is going on by an A&M school official to name Kyle Field “The House That Johnny Built“ only backs up exactly what I’m saying. However, you’re in Cleveland now and I say this with the utmost respect; you are not bigger than the city of Cleveland. Talking heads everywhere are saying how lucky we are to have you and that you are going to help turn the franchise around in wins among many other factors; and they aren’t wrong. But know this, you getting drafted by Cleveland was an amazing mutually beneficial transaction. When you walked out with your Brownies cap on giving the NFL Draft record 12 million viewers at home watching your patented “money signal” it was cool and fun. However, can you imagine the backlash and the hatred that would be thrown your way if you would have done that same thing wearing a Cowboys hat? Gives me shivers.

USP NFL: 2014 NFL DRAFT S FBN USA NY

The Browns are a franchise people root for regardless of allegiance. No one dislikes the Browns. Seriously, no one. I hate the Steelers. I hate Steelers fans. I am beyond mean and bitter towards them. But for as much as I hate those spoiled assholes with their stupid roads that are never in goddamn straight line, they don’t hate the Browns. From being 57.6 miles north of the Professional Football Hall of Fame as well as the birthplace of football in general, to being the only team to not have an emblem on their helmet, Cleveland is special (for that and many other reasons).

Here’s the thing Johnny, you’re a professional now. You are going to get paid a lot of money (plus the millions you’re going to make in endorsements and appearances) to play a game. Fans feel they are owed your absolute, 100% best. I am not doubting you will give us that. In the most basic way to say this, I believe you get it. You understand the expectations and that you are under a super advanced HD microscope. After watching you take part in ESPN’s underrated Gruden’s QB Camp, I only became reaffirmed that you do in fact get it.

People question your off the field antics, your A-List iPhone contacts, your partying ways, your cocky attitude on the field and so on and so forth. This is where you need to understand how much the Browns are helping you. They are going to groom you to be the starter, they are, be patient. Right now you are being told to act like “second stringer.” Accept that and move on. You are a rookie. 21 players were drafted before you (including 2 others from your own Texas A&M). The fact that the Browns are limiting the media to you shows the sports world they respect you as a football player and not a circus act. Tebow went to the Jets for the press (ESPN had the lamest 24/7 training camp coverage there that year). They embraced him as a brand to sell tickets. For someone who wants to play football and win, the Browns are showing you just how much they want Johnny Manziel, the football player; not Johnny Manziel, Drake’s BFF. Not all teams would be doing this for you.

Untitled Ok, moving forward can you stop with the money sign gestures, please? College is over. You don’t need to do that for any reason. Your “swag” has already been established. Please don’t make the money signal “your thing.” I’m not some old crumedgeon or anything, but leave the dancing to the diva WRs. You know what’s cooler than flashing money signs up to God….congratulating a teammate, being happy your team is playing well and acting like you’ve been there before. Please check every Barry Sanders touchdown (there’s 109 to choose from) for a better explanation.

Let’s take a look at the list of winning QBs from the last 11 Super Bowls: Tom Brady (2x), Ben Roethlisberger (2x), Peyton Manning, Eli Manning (2x), Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers, Joe Flacco and Russell Wilson. Any of these guys dancing in the end zone? Any of these guys showing an immature mentality and me-first attitude? They all play the game extremely confidently and completely unselfish. Not cocky, but confident. Let other QBs annoyingly kiss their biceps (Colin Kaepernick) and fake smile/superman reveal when they run for a 1st down while being down 20 points at home (Cam Newton). But in Cleveland, we leave that for the birds.

I’m not asking Johnny Football to lose who is he and become John Manziel, because your improv and approach to the game has gotten you to where you are. Remember when Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn went straight laced in Major League II and lost a bit of who he really was? We don’t need that. I’m just saying that that part of your game is unnecessary because Cleveland is excited for what you do when the play starts until the whistle blows!

The Browns have a history of ill-fated shortcomings from Ernest Byner’s “The Fumble,” to John Elway’s “The Drive,” to the team being moved to Baltimore, to only reaching the playoffs one time since 1999, to having a rotating cast of not only quarterbacks, and coaches, but to front office and ownership as well. The only real constant for the Cleveland Browns over the years is the undying support from the city’s fans. We’re happy to have you here and I hope the feeling is mutual on your part.

PS. Miles Austin and Earl Bennett are good

All the best,

Anthony- anthony@smellthegrindstone.com – Follow him on Twitter

Anthony Fanelli is an actor, writer, producer and comedian whose credits include NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS), How Superman Defeated the KKK (Discovery), My Haunted House (A&E), Black Water Vampire (feature film), Kidney & Apple (feature film), Spare Change (feature film), Little Knockers (funny or die exclusive), The Next Steps (funny or die), United Airlines, Chase Bank, Philips Norelco, Huffington Post/AOL, among much more. He has written and/or starred in over 150 live comedy shows (one-man shows, news parodies, improv, sketch). For more information, please visit his links: Professional Site, Funny or Die Page, IMDB, YouTube, FULL RESUME

2014 NFL Draft Round 1 Round-Up

May 9, 2014 / Kevin G.

ROUND	PICK	TEAM	NOTES
1	1	Houston Texans – Jadeveon Clowney DE SCU	Was considered the consensus top player. Physically gifted. No surprises here.
1	2	St. Louis – Greg Robinson OL AUB	(From Washington RG3 Trade) Raw talent with huge upside. Can start at guard then move to tackle. Such a big man to be wearing a little bow tie.
1	3	Jacksonville – Blake Bortles QB CFU	First Shocker of the night. Bortles was expected to go in the early first round but was never really linked to Jags. They better hope he isn’t the next Gabbert.
1	4	Buffalo – Sammy Watkins WR CLEM	(Traded with Cleveland. Gave them 2015 1^st rnd pick and 2015 4th round pick.) Top WR in draft. Can play inside or outside. Great after the catch. Hope he brought some warm clothes, he isn’t in the sun anymore
1	5	Oakland – Khalil Mack LB BUFF	Extremely talented player that some thought could go #1 overall. Tough to gauge because he played in the MAC. However, his biggest game came against powerhouse OSU.
1	6	Atlanta – Jake Matthews OL TA&M	Very big and strong. Comes from a long line of talented NFL players. Much needed help protecting Matty ICE.
1	7	Tampa Bay – Mike Evans WR TA&M	Huge WR that was just a tiny bit behind Watkins as the best WR in the draft. Can go up and get the ball better than any WR in draft. Is represented by Cash Moneys’ own Birdman “ka-ka”.
1	8	Cleveland – Justin Gilbert CB OKST	(Traded with Buffalo then with Minny) Picked up one of the best and most physical cover corners to pair up with Joe Haden. Resisted the urge to draft a QB. Had fans scratching their heads trading twice.
1	9	Minnesota – Anthony Barr DE UCLA	(Traded with CLE) Can be very good in the right system and if he plays hard every down.
1	10	Detroit – Eric Ebron TE UNC	Best TE in the draft. Can stretch the field. Will be tough covering him and Megatron. Got Engaged earlier in day at the Empire State building, so a pretty solid day for Ebron. Wonder if he went to Jared’s?
1	11	Tennessee – Taylor Lewan OL UM	Interesting pick. One of the 3 best tackles in the draft. Not sure there was need for this pick.
1	12	New York Giants – Odell Beckham WR LSU	Fast riser in the draft. Can do it all. Also a talented returner. Looked to be rocking same hairstyle as former teammate the Honey Badger.
1	13	St. Louis – Aaron Donald DL PITT	Lot of intrigue surrounding pick but played it safe taking a beast of a player. St. Louis’ D-line looks scary.
1	14	Chicago – Kyle Fuller CB VT	Solid pickup. Will help the Bears secondary on the backside. Try to create more turnovers like the mid 2000’s.
1	15	Pittsburgh – Ryan Shazier LB OSU	Very athletic LB that can be moved all over the field. Pitt always seems to draft well on the D-side.
1	16	Dallas – Zach Martin OL ND	A new Jerry Jones? With the chance to take Johnny Football, Jones shocked everyone by taking someone of actual need instead of making money. Martin can play all positions and is very good off the snap.
1	17	Baltimore – CJ Mosley LB BAMA	Bama breads NFL players. The Ravens are looking for the Next Ray Lewis. Seemed like a perfect fit for both.
1	18	New York Jets – Calvin Pryor S LOU	Sexy Rexy couldn’t resist taking a defensive player. Could have gone WR but realizes he needs to stop the Patriots passing attack.
1	19	Miami – Ja’Wuan James OL TENN	This player may have been a bit of a reach, but was a position of need. After the bullying scandal the Dolphins were without several starting lineman.
1	20	New Orleans – Brandin Cooks WR OSU	(Traded with Arizona) After losing Sproles and a couple other WR’s it was time for Peyton and Brees to reload on offense. Cooks was the fastest player at the combine winning a $100,000.
1	21	Green Bay – Ha Ha Clinton-Dix S BAMA	Great player. Best Name in the draft hands down. Interesting suit.
1	22	Cleveland – Johnny Manziel QB TA&M	(Traded with Philly) This was the story of the night. Johnny Football looks to save the Browns suffering franchise. Either way he’s going to fill the stadium. Let the circus begin.
1	23	Kansas City – Dee Ford DE AUB	Helps solidify an already improving KC defense. Was a hot name early in the process, but fell off later down the line.
1	24	Cincinnati – Darqueze Dennard CB MSU	Some thought he was a top 10 pick. Could be a steal for the Bengals. Very talented DB.
1	25	San Diego – Jasin Verret CB TCU	Having to play DEN twice a year, the Chargers realized they needed to buff up their secondary.
1	26	Philly – Marcus Smith DE LOU	(Traded with Cle)With Chip Kelly you never have to really worry about the offense, it’s his D that needs the work. So it’s no surprise they went D with pick.
1	27	Arizona – Deone Bucannon S WSU	(Traded with Saints) Arizona picked up a hard-hitting safety to go along with a loaded secondary.
1	28	Carolina – Kelvin Benjamin WR FSU	Big WR with talent but hasn’t always shown full potential. Fills a huge need left by the tiny Steve Smith.
1	29	New England – Dominique Easley DE Florida	You never really know what Bill Belechick is thinking when he drafts, but it usually works out. Talent, effort and versatility.
1	30	San Francisco – Jimmy Ward S	The 49ers are already a scary team. Not many holes. Fills a need in the secondary.
1	31	Denver – Bradley Roby CB OSU	Offense is already like a video game, so they decided to stick with the theme they had during free agency and went with Defense. Roby had a bad year but is very talented when he’s on his game.
1	32	Minnesota – Teddy Bridgewater QB	(Traded with Seattle)Fearing they’d lose out on the QB they wanted with HOU picking first in the second round, Minny traded back into round 1 to get their QB of the future. Once considered the top player in the draft, he took a nosedive after a horrendous pro day. If the glove fits, wear it!

Quick Hits

*Most crying from grown men since the ending of Armageddon

*No hot girlfriends/wives in the greenroom this year

*Odell Beckham Jr. had the hottest date and it was his mom, a former track star

*Draftees got to come out to music of their choice this year, was like the Now CD of Rap

*Two QBs, Manziel/Bridgewater got to do the Aaron Rodgers slide down the draft board

*Bowties were in full effect

*Khalil Mack’s suit looked liked Eddy Murphy’s leather suits in the 80’s

*Ray Lewis loves to preach, but it’s the same sermon every time

*Mel Kiper and Jon Gruden disagreed on just about every pick

*Chris Berman has worn the same suit and tie for 20 years

Winners

*Cleveland has to be considered the big winner, which is weird to say but even weirder to hear. They came away with arguably the best CB in the draft, the best and most exciting QB in the draft, and also a 2015 1^st and 4^th rounder. I’d say the new regime is off to a great start

*St. Louis had two picks in the first round and they didn’t disappoint. They picked up the best OL in the draft and the best interior DL. St. Louis has had a good 3 years in the draft thanks to the RG3 trade.

*The top-heavy teams all seem to just get better. With fewer holes to fill, they get to pick based on need and luxury.

Losers

*Jacksonville has to be considered a loser because I’m not sure of the value of their pick. They obviously needed a QB but many think Bortles is a project, so they may have to stick with a sub-par starter for another year or two before he’s ready.

*Tennessee had several needs but OL was not one of them. Lewan is very athletic and will be good, but isn’t really room for him at the moment.

*Marqise Lee, WR out of USC, who to me is going to be a huge steal in the second round. He had a down year but that was more because of a rocky season at the QB position and amidst a coaching change.

Post by Kevin G. – Kevin@smellthegrindstone.com

Keviin is a Dad, so that takes up 99.3% of his time. Follow him on twitter.

A Browns Fan’s POV: Round 1 NFL Draft Recap

May 9, 2014 / Anthony F.

Johnny-Football-Fan-Art I am from northeast Ohio and a Browns fan. That is a declarative sentence that says a lot about a person. Have you ever met a Browns fan outside of the comfy confines of Cleveland? It’s like seeing your childhood best friend that moved away in third grade. High-fiving a Browns fan on an elevator in Spokane, Washington was one of the top 5 moments of my life (please excuse how subtly sad that makes my life experiences though).
Continue reading

So, here we are once again, Draft day. The 1 day a year that Browns fans become optimistic (and not just faking it during another an abysmal 4-12 season). Draft Day in Cleveland is the 1 day a year we actually become peers with the other 31 NFL Teams. So, this is the year, right Browns fans? For us our stock will rise, and not just our laughing-stock. This is the year we say no to staph infections! This is the year we become relevant! This. Is. It. With 2 picks in the first round: pick 4 (from being terrible last season) and pick 26 (from being terrible at the draft game 2 years ago and pawning off Trent Richardson to the Colts for this pick); here we go! Who needs hardcore drugs to experience ultimate high and lows, paranoia and numbness!? Just being a Browns fan is good enough for this guy. So here is the 2014 NFL Draft, Round 1 Recap from a Cleveland Browns Fan.

Spoiler alert, I really really want Johnny Manziel in Cleveland (see why – link).

8:00pm – We are greeted with the likes of Chris Berman, Jon Gruden, Mel Kiper Jr. and Ray Lewis in the box, giving us an over-analyzed play by play of what is about to come. Ray Lewis and Chris Berman are beyond outmatched for this type of thing. Gruden is a freak of football knowledge and Mel Kiper Jr.’s one job for ESPN is to cover the draft. Why they just don’t have Todd McShay up there the entire time is beyond me.

8:04pm – The Draft has officially begun!

8:05pm – Roger Goodell enters and is mercilessly booed, mainly for the same reason people do the wave at sports game; everyone’s just playing follow the leader.

8:06pm – I’m already sick of Chris Berman. Hey Ray Lewis, any word on that suit you “lost” back in 2000?

8:15pm – The first pick is in. The Houston Texans select Jadeveon Clowney, DE/Freak, South Carolina. OK, good, Johnny Manziel is still on the board. He was a threat to go at number 1 to his home state Texans, but now that that’s over with I can grab another beer real quick.

8:16pm – Roger Goodell, AKA Mr. Super Hug, embraces the behemoth that is Clowney. Rumor is Goodell does 250 push ups every day just to maintain enough upper body and core strength to endure the grappling death hugs he takes part in each draft year.

8:22pm – The second pick is in. The St. Louis Rams select Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn. Psh, go ahead, take a lineman. You made your Sam Bradford bed years ago, now you have to lie in it. Manziel still alive, still kicking, still on his first water bottle of the night.

8:28pm – Our first Adam Shefter sighting. Hehe, he makes me giggle.

8:31pm – The Jacksonville Jaguars select Blake Bortles, QB, UCF. WHAT THE HECK! Where is a close-up of his smoking hot girlfriend? That’s what the people want. Where’s Brent Musberger when you need him? He sees the line of appropriateness and decides to broad jump across it (ie Katherine Webb).

hi-res-84aa6e5939572d752b24fc979735cbd2_crop_north

OK, here it is. Everything has worked out just right for us Browns to finally turn our luck around. I mean all strategy aside, we have absolutely nothing to lose with actually taking a big name prospect! Nothing! In 300 voice “Take him, he’s yours.”

And, and, and, and……

We trade our pick to the Buffalo Bills. Completely flaccid once again. I hate you Browns. Worst part here, no one was surprised. That noise you just heard is every fan of the Cleveland Browns saying “Classic Browns move” all at once, in unison.

Another beer.

8:37pm – The Buffalo Bills select Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson. Solid pick by the ol’ Bills there. Nothing bad to say about Watkins; he’s big, fast and strong and the Browns would’ve been lucky to have him. Although I have been kindly (arrogantly) reminding folks all week that we once took the best receiver in the draft years ago and his name was Braylon Edwards.

Johnny Manziel is on his 4th bottle of water now.

8:42pm – Khalil Mack to the Raiders.

OK, now it’s starting to suck, the draft is becoming too long and depressing. I need something to get excited about.

8:44pm – Check Skip Bayless’ twitter feed and mock him.

8:51pm – Jake Matthews, OT Texas A&M to Atlanta

8:59pm – Mike Evans, WR Texas A&M to Tampa Bay

9:00pm – There’s another trade! There’s another trade! The Browns move up one spot! OK, so this seems obvious. I mean the Vikings want a QB sitting there at 9, so the Browns move up to grab our boy, Manziel! Hopefully, possibly! Here we go Brownies, here we go!

And the pick is in. With the 8th pick of the 2014 NFL Draft the Cleveland Browns select Johnnnnnnn…Justin Gilbert, *SG (some guy) from Oklahoma State? OK, well that was weird. Not sure what’s going on here. Are we sure someone just didn’t say they loved Sara Gilbert? Or were they referencing their favorite comic strip “Dilbert” and misspoke? ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Another beer.

9:09pm – Commercial break. Things to do: find baby, punch it out of frustration.

9:11pm – Anthony Barr, LB UCLA to Minnesota

9:14pm – Barry Sanders, who still looks like he could run for 1,000 yards, announces (after a quick Madden plug) that Eric Ebron TE, UNC is the player the Lions took.

9:22pm – Taylor Lewan, OT Michigan goes to Tennessee.

Now it’s just a dice game of wondering if Manziel is going to Dallas, Cleveland is just playing for 2017, or if that was actually a baby I punched and not a stuffed animal? Johnny Manziel is on his 11th bottle of water now.

9:29pm – The Giants take O’Delle Becham Jr. WR, LSU. This led to everyone discussing Eli Manning. Hehe, he makes me giggle too.

odell-beckham-selected-by-giants-e544e0eb59832202

9:37pm – Aaron Donald, DT, Pitt to St. Louis.

9:44pm – Kyle Fuller, DB, VTech to Chicago.

9:47pm – Ryan Shazier, LB, OSU to Pittsburgh (Pittsburgh as a whole, is the worst thing in existence).

OK, Jerry World is up. Here we go. They’re going to take Manziel for sure. Jerry Jones cares about ticket sales, not championships. But, Romo is 34 and has like no internal organs or ribs left, so maybe they do actually need one.

9:53pm – Dallas takes Zach Martin, OT, Notre Dame. Suckers!

10:00pm – CJ Mosely, CB Alamabama to Baltimore.

10:09pm – Calvin Pryor, S Louisville to the Jets.

10:18pm – Jawuan James, OT UT to the Dolphins.

Another beer, another yawn, another head shake at Ray Lewis.

10:19pm – The Saints trade with the Cardinals. Hmm, interesting because Arizona could use a future quarterback. But their coach Bruce Arians is pretty old school and not into the camo cargo look that Manziel likes to sport, so by all means trade away!

10:25pm – Brandon Cooks, WR, Oregon State to New Orleans (to fill the void in Drew Brees’ heart that was left by the departing Darren Sproles).

10:34pm – Ha-Ha Clinton Dix, S Alabama to Green Bay. Any joke you could ever think of about his name has already been said. But, I’m going to try one. “He laughs in the 3rd person.”

10:36pm – THERE”S ANOTHER TRADE. THE BROWNS HAVE TRADED AGAIN! This time with the Eagles to move one spot ahead of the QB hungry Kansas City Chiefs.

What is happening? Up is down! Dogs living with cats, mass hysteria! This is it. I can feel it! The Browns decided to make a move. They decided to be an NFL team and take a gamble. Who cares that we also selected Brady Quinn and Brandon Weeden with the 22nd overall picks years ago. This could be Johnny Manziel!

10:43pm – With the 22nd pick in the 2014 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select (I swear I saw a beautiful butterfly fly right in the room at this moment) Johnny Manziel, Quarterback, Texas A & M.

JOHNNY M***** F***** FOOTBALL! 6 to midnight, just like that! The Browns will win all Super Bowls from 2014 – 2028, no doubt! Johnny, put down your 17th bottle of water and get up there!! I am now winded from running up and down the stairs in pure jubilation. Wow, so this is what true love actually feels like? Here are the facts: The Browns needed him. The fans and the city deserved him. 2014 is going to be one hell of a ride! I now don’t care about picks 23-32. Seriously I don’t. End of article.

*Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State, welcome to Cleveland! Amazing player and we’re lucky to have you on the roster!

Post by Anthony F. – Twitter

anthony@smellthegrindstone.com

Anthony Fanelli is an actor, writer, producer and comedian whose credits include NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS), How Superman Defeated the KKK (Discovery), My Haunted House (A&E), Black Water Vampire (feature film), Kidney & Apple (feature film), Spare Change (feature film), Little Knockers (funny or die exclusive), The Next Steps (funny or die), United Airlines, Chase Bank, Philips Norelco, Huffington Post/AOL, among much more. He has written and/or starred in over 150 live comedy shows (one-man shows, news parodies, improv, sketch). For more information, please visit his links: Professional Site, Funny or Die Page, IMDB, YouTube, FULL RESUME

Why The Cleveland Browns Need To Draft Johnny Manziel!

May 1, 2014 / Anthony F.

6a00e54f7fc4c5883301901e8ab4f0970b Hey Cleveland Browns Management, how goes it? I know, right?! Tell me about it! It’s been a trying number of years for you as you’ve easily become the laughing stock of the NFL (est. 1999). All of the other teams seem to be taking your lunch money everyday and stuffing you into lockers. You’re not even the little brother anymore. You’ve somehow turned into the neglected child of the weirdo family next door that never, ever mows their lawn. Long story short, everyone is just kind of feeling bad for you. Think about it…no one hates the Browns. You either “love” them, “whatever” them, or “feel sorry” for them. However, not being hated is not necessarily a good thing. Hated teams are usually good and relevant teams (Steelers pop to mind right away). Continue reading

But you can do something about it! All you have to do is draft the most electrifying, talented, hard-working quarterback to come out of the draft in many, many years: Johnny Manziel.

Now for all of those people out there who will kick and scream and say it’ll be a wasted pick…first of all, shut up. Seriously, go kick rocks and practice falling down for a bit. The Browns have absolutely nothing to lose whatsoever considering they have the same fan base whose pants got tighter when they managed to get Brady Quinn late in the first round back in 2007. You’re the same people who blame the corner for getting beat deep in Cover 2.

Now onto putting some of the fluffy anti-JF (Johnny Football) arguments put to rest, as well as all other reasons why the Cleveland Browns owe their fans Johnny Manziel.

Johnny Manziel Isn’t Tall Enough

OMG, did you hear that star quarterback Johnny Manziel isn’t a Tom Brady’esque 6’4″? He is only a solid, normal guy height of 6’1″ or so; unreal! He might as well be Kevin Hart out there! He’ll never, ever, EVER be able to complete a pass in the NFL. I mean look at current NFL shrimps Drew Brees (6’0″ max) and Russell Wilson (a generous 5’11”), those guys suck so bad! Guess what guys? The average height of Offensive and Defensive Lineman is just about the same in college as it is in the NFL. Most dudes aren’t getting taller at the age of 24. So by the transitive property, if JF is completing passes in college from the pocket then his vision is not going to be that big of an issue in the NFL.

OH AND ALSO, if height is such a big issue, why don’t the NFL geniuses just measure a quarterback from their release point with the ball, as well as their height from the eyes down. Doesn’t that just make sense? Peyton Manning may be a statue of a man at 6’5″ but he has a head like Pep Boy.

He Won’t Last (Size & Durability)

OMG, did you hear that Johnny Manziel is only like 210-220 lbs? What a little wiener kid! Dude’s going to get hurt like, #ALLTHETIME. First things first; if you have ever played a team sport ever in your life, then you know that there are people who get hurt and there are people who do not, plain and simple. That does not change on the professional level. It’s a weird thing, but that is 100% the case. There’s always going to be that kid on your 8th grade football team that “twists” his ankle all the time and then spends 2 days on crutches in school just so hot Claire will talk to him (I guarantee about 3 names just popped in your head). There’s just always going to be players like Danny Amendola.

This isn’t boxing people! You’re not getting punched in the face over and over by behemoths 100 pounds heavier than you. It’s all about angles and athleticism and being able to roll with getting hit. People get hurt in the NFL all the time, yes. However, football injuries are caused more so due to freak injuries like ACL tears, ankle sprains and so on. RGIII in his rookie season went down with a torn ACL. Every talking head blamed the fact that he was “exposed” and “running around too much.” However (realistically), he unfortunately took an unlucky helmet to the knee in one hit. It could happen to anyone.

Peyton Manning has had 4 neck surgeries and he never gets hit! Again, 4 NECK SURGERIES and he hasn’t left the pocket since Bill Clinton was in office. Same goes for the 5.5, 40 yard dasher Tom Brady. He is never exposed, but missed an entire season due to a freak accident (ACL tear). It has a lot less to do with your size than all talking heads seem to think. When was the last time you ever heard a player come off the field because they were getting hit too hard, too often? You don’t because this argument is stupid, over analyzed and should not even be up for discussion. Realistically, except for Michael Vick who leaves himself open to getting hit all the time (protects himself as well as Stallone in Rocky), people get hurt in the NFL for fluke reasons.

Concussions happen to giant guys and small guys alike. Unless your Barry Bonds, your head doesn’t gain any muscle the more you weigh. Ben Roethlisberger, who is basically the Undertaker playing quarterback, is always banged up; while the Giants’ Trindon Holliday, 5’5″ 170 lbs, stays upright and durable.

For those of you who have actually watched a full game of Manziel, not just his highlights but an actual full game; this guy follows his blockers better than any player on the college level; he is Earnhardt’esque in his “drafting” ability. He’s always been healthy, weighs 200+ pounds and is already wearing rib-pads, just in case. This dude gets it, so relax.

Party Guy

Did you see that one picture of Johnny Manziel at a bar? Drinking? Like a every other 21-29 year old on the planet would? For a second, imagine you became famous tomorrow and now every time you went anywhere, all 300 people who see you out that night are telling their family and friends they saw YOU! Not all 300 people are going to say the exact same thing. The kid is 21 years old. 21 year olds go to bars and hang out with friends. They basically do what Asher Roth told us they do. You don’t have to worry about him being Aaron Hernandez because that’s not going to happen.

Biggest take away from his off-the-field antics and celebrity status is that it in no way effected his on-the-field play at all (his passing game was somehow better the year after he won the Heisman) . If Lawrence Taylor can bang hookers, do cocaine all the time, come to meetings in hand-cuffs, and still become an NFL legend and Hall of Famer, everyone can just relax about Johnny Manziel drinking every now and then with his friends; especially in this day n’ age where every time he goes to Subway, it’s going to be TMZ’d.

Team Moral/Pysche

When you get to the NFL, every player is great. Every one! Practice squad players are 100x the football player than you could ever imagine. These freaks of nature are playing the game of football professionally for lots and lots of money for a reason, they are the best in the world at it. It’s crazy to think that one team (represented by 31 NFL teams) can be so much better than any other one team (represented by the Cleveland Browns), but it’s true. The Browns need team moral more than anything at this time. They need the players to want and strive to play exceptionally well. They need a buzz around the city. Johnny Manziel would bring that and more. The Browns would become a hot button issue. The team would be talked about, the team would be analyzed, the team would have overly attractive female reporters come to Berea, OH during training camp to report on all that is Manziel. The world would actually find out how great some of their players are (Joe Thomas, Josh Gordon, Jordan Cameron, Joe Haden, Barkevious Mingo). Manziel could single-handedly help the Browns out of little brother status like LeBron did when he went to the Cavs. Speaking of LeBron, Manziel signed Maverick Carter (LeBron’s cousin, agent and fellow Akronite) as his agent. The fans of Cleveland deserve something to get excited about.

Other Quarterback(s)

You think there’s better QBs out there? Are you basing this on what the hair, Mel Kiper Jr. said the other day? The same guy that predicted Jimmy “Typical Notre Dame Guy” Clausen would be the best quarterback of all time. Every year there’s a handful of quarterbacks that somehow go from unknown to top draft picks at the blink of an eye. This doesn’t happen at any other position, but quarterback is such a sexy position that people will over-analyze so much that they forget to actually just do what matters the most, WATCH THE TAPE. Watch an entire game of a player! Watch everything, not just stats; but how he talks to teammates, his demeanor, his “fire,” his everything. Manziel is the full package: he wants to play, he wants to win, he wants to compete. Jesus Chrimany, did you watch the Chik-fil-A Bowl Game with Duke?? That was so fucking-absolutely-unreal; especially for a “meaningless” game (in terms of JF’s legacy) that no one seemed to care about! He won that game more than any other player has won his team a game in a long, long time.

Every year there’s a handful of quarterbacks like Teddy Bridgewater (Louisville), Blake Bortles (UCF), David Fales (San Jose State), Derek Carr (Fresno State) and Tajh Boyd (Clemson) that the average fan will salivate over for no reason (ahem, Blaine Gabbert, Christian Ponder, the list goes on). Seriously, every year! One of the other quarterbacks from the 2014 draft class may be an outstanding player and future HOFer, all of them may be busts, some of them may be okay; but none of them can stand out from the rest like Johnny Manziel does. He’s a player that comes along once every 15 years.

Realistically a worst case scenario is that Manziel could transition to play Slot WR/PR/KR. That seems to have worked decent enough for players such as Julian Edelman and Josh Cribbs; two former Kent State quarterbacks whose QB skills couldn’t hold a candle to JFs.

Stats

Johnny Manziel’s stats speak for themselves. Two years ago the Browns decided to draft Trent Richardson, a running back not named Adrian Peterson, third in the draft. Third, for an Alabama running back. You could take any 1,500 yard rusher from high school, throw him behind an Alabama offensive line, and he’d rush for 1,000 yards as a freshman. You fired your last head coach after less than one full calendar year with the team. You’ve got problems, bro. So, do everyone a favor and DO NOT “Browns” this up. Do what you need to to draft Johnny Manziel.

So in closing and in the somewhat kind-of-words of the outdated pop culture reference from the NBC show Heroes: Draft the quarterback, save the Browns.

Post by – Anthony F.

anthony@smellthgrindstone.com – follow him on twitter

Originally from Akron, OH, Anthony Fanelli is an actor, writer, producer and comedian whose credits include NCIS: Los Angeles (TV), How Superman Defeated the KKK (TV), My Haunted House (TV), Black Water Vampire (film), Kidney & Apple (film), Spare Change (film), Little Knockers (Funny or Die Exclusive Series), The Next Steps (Funny or Die Featured Series), United Airlines, Chase Bank, Philips Norelco, among much more. He has written and/or starred in over 150 live comedy shows (one-man shows, news parodies, improv, sketch). For more information, please visit his links: Professional Site, Funny or Die Page, IMDB, YouTube, FULL RESUME

Johnny Football…Savior or Scapegoat?

April 21, 2014 / Kevin G.

Johnny Cleveland

The NFL draft is less than a month away. I figured it was finally time to start talking football. When it comes to football, at least for me, and the majority of Northeast Ohio, it starts and ends with the Cleveland Browns. Otherwise known as the Cleveland Clowns, as the rest of America likes to remind us. Despite the nickname, they will always be my hometown team. The team I root and cry for/about every Sunday. Let’s face it, they never put us on Primetime, which I can’t really argue against. Continue reading

In the 4 most dominant American sports, fans can’t wait to cheer their teams on for the Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup and NBA Finals. In Cleveland though, as Lee Corso so eloquently states, “not so fast my friends.” We don’t need those epic events because every year we are always in the hunt for something else… the #1 pick in the draft! When people are popping bottles and turning over cars after winning the big one, we are biting our nails waiting in anticipation to find the next savior, or most of the time, the next scapegoat. This, unfortunately, is the reality of Cleveland sports for the better half of the last century. Sure, we’ve had some pretty great players come through and almost get us that first title since 1964, but not even Lebron James got us to the promise land.

This brings me to Johnny Manziel, aka Johnny Football. With so much hype and attention surrounding him, it got me, and all of Ohio thinking. Could Johnny Football be the next savior for Cleveland sports, or the next scapegoat on the long list of wanna-be’s?

First, lets talk about Manziel, the football player. The former Heisman trophy winner (as a freshman mind you) is an undeniable talent. The kid is a flat out stud when he’s on the field. Love him or hate him, on the football field he was a man among boys. What he lacks in size, he makes up for in athletic ability. Manziel dominated in the SEC, the toughest conference in college football. He did this with an atrocious defense that probably cost his team a shot at the national title. He put up gaudy stats with even more highlight reel plays. If you haven’t see him play nor have heard his name on a weekly basis, you most likely have been living under a rock for the past two years. He is a college football legend and he only played for two seasons.

Browns fans 1999-2013.

Now that we’ve touched a little bit on the football aspect of Manziel, lets take a look at the personality side that is “Johnny Football”. There’s no other way to say it, you’re either a fan or you’re not when it comes to Manziel. The saying, “you can’t have the sweet without the sour,” is a perfect analogy for Manziel’s career at Texas A&M. His celebrity status, his signature money hand signal, the partying, the taunting, the autographs, the list goes on and on. Are these just the normal ups and downs of a 19/20 year old kid trying to handle all this pressure and fame? Is there something more to it? That’s the question NFL scouts and executives are trying to figure out. Since Manziel announced his decision to forgo his eligibility and enter the draft, he has said and done all the right things. The jury is still out.

The Cleveland Browns have the #4 and #26 picks in the first round of the 2014 NFL draft. We say this every year, but this draft is monumental to the future of the franchise. With a new GM (Ray Farmer) and head coach (Mike Pettine) once again, they have to get it right. The Browns haven’t had the greatest off-season to say the least, not to mention the ongoing investigation of its owner (Jimmy Haslam) for fraud. So basically, this draft needs to be a homerun. Better yet, a grand slam.

With all eyes pointing at the most glaring spot on the Browns roster, the quarterback position, it is once again under scrutiny. Everyone and anyone, knows to win in the NFL you either have to have a championship defense or a franchise QB. Neither is very easy to create or draft. We have been searching for both since the return to the league in 1999. Many have come and have gone. We’ve all seen the jersey with the 20 or so QB names on the back starting with Couch and ending with Campbell. Could this be the year that we finally stop at #21? Enter Johnny Football.

Many mock drafts have the Browns taking Manziel with the fourth overall pick. Others range from Sammy Watkins of Clemson to Khalid Mack of Buffalo. One thing is for sure, everyone expects the Browns to take a quarterback in this draft. The only question is, are any of these quarterbacks “Franchise” changing guys? Here’s a quick look at some of the best QB’s available. First, there’s the most ready prospect in Teddy Bridgewater, who to some is sliding down the draft boards. Next, we have Blake Bortles, who some think has the most upside. Then there is Derek Carr, AJ McCarron, Jimmy Garoppolo, and the fast riser Tom Savage. However, none of them carry the same bang or bust rating as Manziel. That is why there is so much intrigue surrounding his eventual pick in the draft.

Ah, I can’t see his upper leg!!

Let’s look at some of the comparisons that usually come up when talking about Manziel. He is compared to QB’s as great as Steve Young and as bad as Tim Tebow. Others think he can have a career that mirrors Russell Wilson if put into the right system but more like Doug Flutie’s if not. The opinions are all over the place, but one thing always remains the same, he’s a gamer. With Manziel, you’re not only getting a guy who can ball, but you’re also getting a guy who can sell tickets. This is where the Cleveland Browns may enter.

I was listening to a sports talk radio show the other day in Cleveland. They posed a question to the audience concerning Manziel; basically asking people is it better to be relevant or to win games? To me it’s a no brainer, but you’d be surprised with what people had to say. To my dismay, many claimed they just wanted to have a team that was relevant. I get it, I do. I mean, we have had two winning seasons since 1999. The majority of the news you hear about Cleveland is usually about whom we fired or some other ridiculous decision we’ve made. To say we aren’t Sportscenter’s team of interest would be an understatement. But seriously, does that really matter? Don’t we play sports to win? Don’t we invest our time and money to see victories? I don’t remember ever rooting for a team because I liked their colors or because it was cool, (only when playing video games). I cheered for them because I wished I was out there with them battling to get the W. I hated losing growing up, lets restate that, I still hate losing at anything I play, and that includes family games. Last time I checked, just being relevant doesn’t win you a championship; just ask the Chicago Cubs, or the Dallas Cowboys. I’d rather be the San Antonio Spurs, sure they might be boring, but all they do is win.

The only people in sports that care about being relevant are the people making money off of it. I don’t remember ever getting paid anytime one of my teams have won. With winning comes relevancy. Don’t try to pull the shades over your fans eyes with all the glitz and the glare, because it eventually fades, all you’ll have left to show is your record.

So to the Browns organization, I ask you this, is drafting Johnny Manziel a business decision or a football decision? If it is a football decision, and you are 110% positive this is the guy that is going to be our savior, then sign me up. But if this is to sell jerseys and put people in the stands like previous teams did with the likes of Tebow, then I think you are setting up Johnny Football to be the next scapegoat. “With the 4^th pick in the 2014 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select…”

Post By Kevin G. – kevin@smellthegrindstone.com

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Category Archives: Football

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