- Movie: Captain America
- Director: Albert Pyun
- Starring: Matt Salinger, Ronny Cox, Scott Paulin
- Rotten Tomato Rating: 9%
A Little Context
In a single night Captain America: The Winter Soldier earned over 10 million dollars, and almost $100 million in its first weekend. While incredibly impressive, what’s an even bigger accomplishment is the regularity with which Marvel can make a hit movie. And not just Marvel, superhero movies from Sony or Fox or Warner Brothers pull in huge numbers. Now is a glorious time to be a comic book fan: The Avengers, Sin City, The Dark Knight, Dredd, the list goes on. So brief is this boom however, you really don’t have to go back very far to find utter garbage. Enter Captain America.
I was born in 1984 (30!), so I really got to know superheroes in the 90s—where everything was extreme. It was awesome…at the time. Marvel was printing so many comics they would eventually pop their own bubble and file for bankruptcy in 1996. While comic books were awesome (and plentiful) at this time, Marvel was struggling to bring their characters to the big screen, unlike Warner Bros. and DC Comics. The first Superman movie came out in 1978. Eight years later Marvel fired back with Howard the Duck. In 1989, Tim Burton’s Batman. A year later we get this…
Captain America begins as a period piece. While modern technology could CGI Chris Evans’ face onto a scrawny actor, the movie had no such technology. Instead, this pre-super soldier serum-hero has a limp. The first 20 minutes of this movie is basically Captain America: The First Avenger. Steve Rodgers becomes Captain America via a secret formula and is then sent to stop the Red Skull from doing something evil. In stopping the villain, Captain America must divert a missile (who is attached to said missile) from Washington D.C. to Alaska. The missiles crashes and our hero is frozen for 50 years.
For some reason, the WWII era element makes the campiness of this film more palatable. If you compare this Captain America rubber outfit to the one in Burton’s Batman, that regardless of the impracticality and rigidness of the rubber suit, the one Keaton wore just looked cool. First of all, it was black and not red, white, and blue. Secondly, the aesthetic of Gotham helped the suit work. Aside from the look, the face mask doesn’t seem to fit Matt Salinger very well.
It’s like they measured him once, made this rubber suit, and then weren’t able to (or didn’t care to) make any further adjustments. The eye holes on the face mask appear off and the front of the mask squishes Salinger’s nose. Also, the ears on the headpiece are fake. Think about that for a second…
Fight scenes are exactly the level you’d expect. Bad choreography I can take, but what bothered me was the extremely quick camera cuts. One 2-second sequence of punch, kick, punch and you’re looking at 10 difference camera angels. Acting is also fairly predictable. Salinger tries his best but is wooden and borderline dopey, especially as Steve Rodgers. His love interest tries but just isn’t successful. Scott Paulin apparently really enjoyed playing the part of Red Skull. You’ll get a minor part from Ned Beatty and Ronny Cox as the President. I always enjoy Ronny Cox but sometimes I would zone out and find myself wishing I was watching Total Recall or RoboCop. When I’d zone back in I’d have this staring at me…
But Can I Drink To It?
You most certainly can. Like many bad movies, this one waffles back and forth between funny bad and just bad bad, but there are enough funny bad moments to go around. Here are a few drinking rules to get you going.
Every time Red Skull refers to Captain America as his brother – DRINK for 3 seconds!
Every time Steve Rogers appears conflicted or confused – DRINK for 5 seconds!
Every time an unnecessarily quick camera angle changes during action scenes – DRINK for as long as it’s occurring (or, if you’re feeling ambitious, try to keep track of them and drink for that many seconds after the scene)!
When Captain America feigns being car sick in order to steal a car – DRINK/CHUG a full beer!
Captain America shot: Layered shot with grenadine on the bottom, peach schnapps, and blue curacao on top
If you’re curious, here is where I got my Blu-Rau copy of the movie: Shout! Factory Collector’s Edition blu ray – $10. K, Have fun!
Post by: Tyler P.