During my adolescent years when going to the video store was a treat, I was scared of the VHS copy of Kids that I would pick up and read the back of. My Dad, obviously thinking I would somehow replicate the HIV-infected youth culture that was portrayed in that film, never did let me rent it then. Don’t worry Dad. I am currently not into skateboarding or contracting AIDS, so you did good. Continue reading
So instead of Kids, I just re-watched Under Siege for the 20th time instead. The point of telling you this is because I went and saw the “controversial” “coming-out-of-sorts-from-Disney” Kid’s director Harmony Korine’s new film Spring Breakers. After conversing with my midwest friends, I realized that this film is not as publicized outside of the L.A. bubble that I am currently living within (that is not to say I am “in” but just that I live here). I follow Selena Gomez on Instagram, I saw Vanessa Hudgens at dinner once, my friend who I went to see it with apparently watches Pretty Little Liars (starring Spring Breaker’s star Ashley Benson), and James Franco is awesome. So let’s give it day in court, eh? For those of you who don’t know, director Harmony Korine is weird (Letterman banned him in the 90’s). 1. His name is Harmony 2. He made a film called Trash Humpers which I have never seen but am terrified of.
and 3. he approached his now wife (who is 17 years younger than him) when she was just 16. So, I went in with odd expectations for this movie. Odd because I had no idea what to expect. I went on spring break in 2006 to a little place called Acapulco……so I am pretty fucking hip. But when the opening sequence of the film rolls in with all its slow-motion, Skrillex laced soundtrack glory, showing dude-bros and naked totters running wild on the beach, it really made me think of that day in Acapulco when I couldn’t go in the ocean because there were used diapers everywhere. It was at that moment, roughly 25 seconds into the movie, where you should take Spring Breakers with a grain of salt and with your tongue in cheek. Without giving away too much, here’s the story. There are 4 girls (Gomez, Hudges, Benson and Mr. Korine’s wife Rachel Korine) who want to go to Spring Break (to hot-spot St. Petersburg, FL). The little ladies have no money, so they are supes upset. So what do they do? They decide to rob a diner with a fake gun and a sledge-hammer. Hudgens is scary good as a girl with psycho tendencies (psh, women, am I right?). Also, the way Korine shot this scene is artsy and great. They make it to St. Pete’s (spoiler alert), ride scooters, grind around, show some skin, make it seem like someone is about to get raped somewhere/somehow, and then unfortunately get arrested along with the creepy inbred version the twins from The Matrix.
Friends with the Deliverance twins though is James Franco’s Alien (real name Al), who happens to bail them all out. James Franco = the price of admission. You can throw all that “he can’t pull off the white thug appeal without being over-the-top with it” bologna right now. Bottom line, he is awesome and every line he states and how he talks generates laughs, gasps and even a snort from this guy (pointing to self). When he is showing the girls his house and all of his stuff, it.is.fantastic. Never have I seen someone so happy to brag about how many pairs of shorts he has. Throw in a turf war with his childhood bestie Archie (played in monotone by Gucci Mane) and you got yourself a movie going places, dark/artsy places. SIDE-BAR: I wish The Game would have been cast as Archie, because personally The Game scares the crap out of me. I don’t give movies ratings because I don’t like to judge, and my favorite movie is Tremors so not sure how my opinions should be taken, so here are a few things to keep in mind when you see this (which I recommend you doing, just not with a parent because it would incredibly awkward): James Franco is phenomenal. The girls are incredibly hot and you get to see all different race’s breasties. Also, this movie should be rated whatever is in between R and NC-17, so proceed with caution.
Post by Anthony Fanelli – email@example.com
Originally from Akron, OH, Anthony Fanelli is an actor, writer, producer and comedian who’s credits include NCIS: Los Angeles (TV), How Superman Defeated the KKK (TV), My Haunted House (TV), Black Water Vampire (film), Kidney & Apple (film), Spare Change (film), Little Knockers (Funny or Die Exclusive Series), The Next Steps (Funny or Die Featured Series), United Airlines, Chase Bank, Philips Norelco, among much more. He has written and/or starred in over 150 live comedy shows (one-man shows, news parodies, improv, sketch). For more information, please visit his links: Professional Site, Funny or Die Page, IMDB, YouTube, FULL RESUME