*The Chronicles of Chicago’s “Jim Morrison” follows the local shithead and non-poet’s random, annoying adventures around the city…
Part 1: Take Me Out To The Next Whiskey Bar
Local shithead and non-poet Jim Morrison ruined the 7th inning stretch for those in his section at Wrigley Field this past Tuesday night. Reports have the long-haired, bloated Lakeview resident screaming “next whiskey bar” over the words “ball game” during the traditional singing of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.”
Banker, and Naperville resident John McKewan was sitting in Morrison’s row with his 7-year old son at the start of the game. “I knew the evening was going to be interesting when that weirdo turned his back to the field during the singing of the national anthem. I thought the guy behind him was going to deck him,” explained McKewan. McKewan and his son ultimately ended up moving to some empty seats a few rows away.
“Everyone goes to Wrigley to have fun and to sing that song in the middle of the game and then you have that jerk just howling during it. It was so obnoxious and I think I lost my phone because of him,” said a blonde babe wearing a Mark Prior jersey about the Lizard Dork.
Later reports have the mustard-stained fingernails jagbag screaming “getting fucked up with my fucked up friends” during “American Pie” at nearby bar Sluggers after the game.
Post by Brendan H. Here’s his Twitter